I have been asked a couple of times if I ever get lonely. The answer is yes, but it’s not such a bad thing. Living alone can be traumatising for some people and for others like me, a life of bliss. You know I have always got a few life hacks for you. So if you plan to move into your own space sometime soon or you just moved, this is for you my darling dear.
You’ll be all alone, so go for a small space. It does not have to be squeezed but just enough space. I have been living in a bedsitter and I find it comfortable. Small spaces don’t get too lonely; you won’t imagine ghosts in the adjacent room when it’s dark plus you’ll feel more secure since you can personally manage the few entrances and exits. Small spaces are also easy to clean, especially if you are a non-clutter like me. My friends laugh at me when I say if I were to not do my laundry for two weeks, I’d have nothing to wear on the third. I can wash everything in my closet in one wash. Just to confirm, I am still a girl please (hahaha). It’s not that I am not ambitious, I plan to move into a 2 bedroom, but because, I’d want to host my younger sisters but for as long as I am alone a bedsitter or a one bedroom is perfect. Oh! Yeah remember to keep it affordable, live in a cheap, neat and secure place.
Furnish your house ninja and do not be afraid to buy what you feel you need. My friend and I realised, the more we bought, the more the house grew smaller. Once you feel you can’t turn in your house without knocking something, that is enough motivation to find wider space. A bigger house might mean, more rent so this will also push you to think about buying a house of your own so you can never hear the voice of a landlord again. No pressure on this phase, you might just drop dead out of stress. It takes time, so invest at a comfortable pace until you get there. It is Africa, there is no hurry.
On that loneliness note, invest in close friends. Have them over for, lunch, movie or sleep overs. If all of you live alone separately, do it on rotation so that every house is warmed. If you are dating, your significant other can pay you a visit every often depending on how far away you are. Find outdoor activities that interest you and this will also build well on your social networks. Go swimming, join a book club, go for karaoke nights, and window shopping is also an option even if you are broke. The money will come one day and you’ll already have known how much that coffee table costs. Watch TV or read a book, anything that will improve your knowledge of language.
Eat well, I say, there is no one as lazy a bachelor(ette). I remember it took me a while before I learned to cook food for one. I was raised in a football team size family so there was never a point food was cooked for a person or a pair. We all have admitted to bread and tea for supper because who is cooking and worse still who’ll do the dishes??? I tell you now, learn to cook for one. Save yourself the health hazzards that come with that fast food take out. It will not only save your health but your pocket too. Eat and eat well, all my foodie friends, the joy of living alone is that you can eat any amount of food without fearing judgement. You are alone, judge yourself if you want to but do not forget to eat. Grab at least a fruit a day and stay alive.
Have quick fixes in the house, painkillers, antibiotics and salt. Put your most reliable people on speed dial. Make sure none of your electronics are plugged when not in use, taps are tightly turned off, doors locked and just know your neighboughs by name and phone number. Simply, let not cause of your ilness or death be something that would have been avoided.
Just before I go, do not care for what will happen in future, take care of this moment.
A relative once asked me; ‘You are buying all these things, what will happen when you find a man to marry you?’
What am I supposed to do, sleep on a cheap matress and have two plastic cups because I will eventually move to my husband’s house? We will see what to do when the husband arrives. Enjoy now while you can, you will soon have to compromise alot for the sake of your future family. I wish you well and if you have found a husband, I wish you all the happiness life can possibly offer. Cheers.