Then come to think of it again, I have so much déjà vu, sometimes I’m convinced I’ve lived this life before, so what the heck, nothing is really new. Most people ask if I ever get upset; I am the girl with the radiant smile and a hearty laughter. People like us do not easily admit loneliness or fear; we are other people’s knight and shining armour. I was my family’s backbone for a while, due to my introverted tendencies, I’d rather stay at home cook and clean than go out and deal with the awkwardness of starting a conversation with strangers; reasons why the Pastor assumes my mother only has three daughters, well, I’m the fourth, and guess what? I’m invisible, especially in church. Look to the brighter side of it, if I was home, you’d walk into a clean warm house and a well prepared meal, isn’t that all you want after a long day?
Solitude is life’s greatest gift to me because I am most comfortable in my own space. This year of all years in my entire life, I must say I am proud of me. I’m a different type of wild, a spirit that knows no boundaries and an ego so big I can’t swallow but on the outside, a calm shy and almost snobbish personality. First impressions always have people back biting me but those who get to know me, never want to leave my company; talking of books and their covers.
So on to my achievements this year, I do not know what else I can call them; maybe leaps of faith? I was never too sure about anything when making these decisions. Well, my sales job had a consistent flow of peanuts so I thought, why not move out of your parents’? Isn’t it a dream you had since Form Two? One time you hated living with your mean relative so much, you wanted to take your savings and get a place in the ghetto, well. I looked for a house and thanks to my woman Winnie I got a really nice and affordable house. It’s Eldoret though, everything is affordable. I learned resilience a long time ago, so I put a deaf ear to the women who ran their mouths around town talking of how I must be having a sponsor to pay for the house and bills. Why would I get a sponsor and live in a 5000 bob house, it beats logic, I should rent a mansion.
As time went by, the sales job was draining me, a normally 65kg girl was dangling at 53-55kg and I did not even notice. My face had lost its glow and I looked older than I really was. Asian bosses all up in my ass and African bosses who behaved no different, my heart began to bleed. I was stationed at a well known service provider and you don’t even know the half of the filth that goes on in there. Apparently, being single was topic enough for an office discussion. Eating chicken or pizza warranted a rumour about dating old men for money and having a girls night out on Saturday got me branded Lesbian. Do I even care? Apart from a terrible working condition, I was not learning anything new anymore. I’m a smart girl, I had everything at my finger tips and nothing really posed a challenge anymore. Oh apart from teaching a blind customer how to use talk back on their phone, the customer only showed up once in a long while and so I couldn’t wait on that only, I quit.
Everyone thought I was crazy, in this era of millions graduating from campus and only three jobs available, who quits their job. I don’t understand why people feel that you should quit your job only and only when moving to another employer. Well, I did not know where I was headed but in a week’s time, I had gained back 5 kgs, my acne cleared and my glow was blinding. Then I thought to myself, all this time I was working for money, how come I was broke by the 5th of every month. I went back to freelancing, I got in touch with my creativity that I lost for months reporting to an office at 7:45am to 6:00pm and working Saturdays, sometimes Sundays to beat targets. Really? That in exchange for happiness, adventure and health. I know some people hold on to some things because they have dependants. Looking at my situation, I do not have a kid to feed; I was broke all the time so there was nothing much my family was getting from me, just a little change for airtime or my sisters’ pocket money. It just did not add up.
Freelancing got me by for a while and I was glad I did. Jobless was and still is fun because I have to be on toes. I need to know who I need to meet, when and why. My blog was revived, I started two radio projects and I got down to writing endlessly. Different clients want different content and the experience of staying up all night to come up with captivating content, rearranging words to sound like candy. I love every bit of it. I still felt like trying something new, we wild spirits are never contented.
So guess what, I packed up everything and moved to Nairobi. A smaller space than my former place in Eldoret but I get to pay twice the price. Someone warned me about life in the city. What should I do though? Live my entire life in a cheap town just because it is manageable? I could die anytime; I don’t want to die in a town I have lived in for 17 years plus. Even the common beggar on the street must know my name by now. My 24th birthday is fast approaching, I told myself early this year, I will gift myself nicely this time. If I don’t get anything like a cake for me this year, the adventure of moving to a capital without much money should be a gift enough. It has been one hell of a year. If I did all this at just 23 I can’t wait to see what I’ll be up to all year before I turn 25. Wish me well and when 21st of November comes, wish me a happy Birthday, especially via mpesa. Kisses